Will staying in school make your child a better person?

by Andrea Hermitt | More from this Blogger

12 Feb 2007 08:37 AM

This question is from a comment on the education blog about homeschooling. One of the questions asked by a mom who was considering homeschool was why her friend felt that the troubles her child is having in public school would make him a better person.

Many homeschool opponents say that dealing with the rigors of public school will make a child a better person. They have several reasons.

Socialization: "The act of learning to take social cues from children of the same age group will ready you for dealing with peers in adulthood." Somehow, however, these opponents neglect to look at the fact that children should not be learning from children. This is why we have so may emotionally stunted adults in the world. Homeschoolers prefer to let their kids pick up social cues from adults while playing with other children under supervision.

Dealing with bullies: Getting beat up on the front stairs of my Catholic school did not help me to deal with bullies as an adult. Getting taller did. My troubles ended when I came back to school (after summer break) six inches taller than my tormentor and her friends. No child should have to go through bullying. Because my children see me in all situations, however, they see me handle difficult people. There was the man who was not watching where he was walking and tripped over my daughter, then barked in her face. She watched me cut him down to size. There was the cashier who called me belligerent for pointing out her error, so I stopped the transaction until the manager came over and handled the situation. Trust me; my children know how to deal with difficult people. As they get older, when these situations happen to them, I step back, watch them handle it themselves and then tell them what they could do differently.

Danger and drugs: I haven't the foggiest of ideas as to how dealing with drugs and school dangers could make a child a better person. In my opinion, avoiding these things makes a child an alive adult. I prefer pointing out these problems in the news and in movies and discussing them with my kids than sending them off to school and praying they will "just say no", or not get shot today.

Stay tuned for: Why well-intentioned friends will talk you out of homeschooling.

*Have a question about homeschooling? Just ask.

*Want to know more about homeschooling? Start here!

Learn more about Andrea Hermitt

Andrea Hermitt is a native New Yorker currently residing in GA. She has been married for over 16 years and has two teenage children.

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Karen Edmisten (310) 12 Feb 2007 03:40 PM

I agree with you, Andrea -- I'm reminded of the two opposite analogies that I often hear applied to kids and school: one is that young trees need to withstand the wind and storms (i.e., the bullies, etc.) in order to put down roots and grow strong.

The other one is the "hothouse flower" analogy -- that tender sprouts need to be sheltered from the storms, and nurtured and made strong, *until* they're ready to withstand the storms.

While I think there's some wisdom in the first analogy, I really think it applies more to adults. We learn from storms and are strengthened, yes.

But, when kids have to learn from such "storms" too early in life, it can wilt the hothouse flower indefinitely, sometimes permanently.