Why We Are Not Testing Our Gifted Sonby Valorie Delp | More from this Blogger 07 Jan 2007 07:20 AM I have found an interesting irony as we have discovered that our son is gifted. There is now this 'push' to have him tested to see exactly how 'gifted' he is. Yet if we were to find out and quantify his giftedness, there are very few resources for home schooling gifted kids. I still need better resources because we're still home schooling him, but we have decided not to have him tested. Reason #1: Socialization I will admit that the only reason I put this as reason #1 was because it's the first thing people ask us when they find out we home school. It's not really reason #1 in terms of priorities. However, gifted kids notably tend to have social problems. They frequently have trouble with peers because while they may be age 6 in physical size, they are mentally much older. Often times it's hard for them to find friends because of lack of common interests. Gifted kids tend to be interested. . .in their gifts. For example, my son is into engineering things and physical sciences. Alex however does not have social problems when he's with peers. I attribute this to the home schooling. First of all he is not ostracized, pulled out, or notably different to his peers. . .he doesn't even realize he's gifted and neither do his classmates. To everyone around he's just Alex who likes to explore trajectory. . .you know, normal five year old stuff. Second, home schooling involves a much more community oriented atmosphere. He plays chess with the guys at the park now (or he will when it's warm), and he has older kids to play with as well. He has younger kids to cater too and he has peers. Third, his home schooled peers enjoy learning. I realize that might not be true for everyone, but I think in general, home schooled kids like learning better. They find enjoyment in science experiments, looking through microscopes etc. So when he has a friend over and he wants to look at a microscope, they all stand around going, "Oh cool" instead of "You're a bore". Reason #2: What exactly is gifted anyways? In my first blog about realizing that my son was gifted, I wrote about how it was difficult for us as parents to admit it because we then had to admit that we wouldn't be able to teach him. . .we will eventually have to seek outside sources to help us. However, another reason that it has been a hard journey to this realization is that Alex has siblings who are also bright. My 3 year old understands fluent Spanish and my 7 year old reads well above her grade level. They are definitely not gifted, but they are well educated, and they've been surrounded with the right opportunities. What we want our son to understand about his unique abilities (when he is at the age to realize that his abilities are in fact unique) is that they are God given. We believe that he was made this way for a specific purpose and it is NOT to show off how smart he is. We try very hard to teach our kids that knowledge without compassion for other human beings is wasted. Identifying how gifted he really is does not serve this purpose. There are more reasons we are not testing our gifted son--but you'll have to come back tomorrow to read them! Related Articles: Thoughts on Homeschooling a Gifted Child You can also click here for a story about Alex from this summer. Learn more about Valorie Delp  Hello everybody! My name is Valorie and I am one busy lady! When I'm not writing or editing for families, I am busy trying to get my brood of 5 in line. Relevanthomeschooling tags User Comments  Andrea Hermitt (5512) 08 Jan 2007 06:26 AMI can hardly wait! When my son was in school, it was suspected that he was gifted, but the New York and New Orleans schools said he was too young to test. The GA schools, where we currently live, refused to test himm...so he has never been tested. We are not going to test him either... We want him to develop without the pressure of being "gifted". But sometimes, the thought crosses my mind... Ps. He was terribly ostrasized in school, and does have less social problems as a homeschooler.  Valorie Delp (49340) 08 Jan 2007 08:59 AMThanks Andrea. I suspect that socializing is much easier among homeschooled peers. It certainly is for my son. None of the kids in his gymnastics class or sports class are interested in physical science or chess and that's almost all he talks about. . . besides Monday night football. Just curious--are you or your husband classified as gifted? Oh and by the way, we would've never considered it in a million years except for his EI appointment and then the pediatrician found out and so on and so on. . . Andrea Hermitt (5512) 08 Jan 2007 09:37 AMNeither, my husband nor I have been tested as gifted.... We have never been tested. But we have above average IQ scores. What we do know is that I have ADHD and my husband has some problems processing written material. Valorie Delp (49340) 08 Jan 2007 09:55 AMLearning disabilities and giftedness often go hand in hand. My husband when he was this age started showing signs of giftedness and his parents had him tested at school and sure enough--he's pretty smart! They took a very laid back approach though and I think he ended up very well adjusted ;-) In fact, it was my MIL that encouraged us to start later with my son rather than earlier despite his obvious aptitude. She was definitely right. . .but wait--I think that's for another blog ;-) Andrea Hermitt (5512) 08 Jan 2007 08:03 PMI think the expectations that come with confirming genius is too much pressure for kids. I have seen several kids who tested genius not make it out of highschool. Valorie Delp (49340) 08 Jan 2007 09:07 PMLOL--If I keep responding I'll have no fodder for my future blogs. . . . But you're right. I think too it almost deprives them of the enjoyment of satisfying their own curiosity. Right now my son does stuff bc he's curious. That's total normal 5yo boy behavior. What he's curious about is a different story. But I would hate to take away that excitement of getting one of his inventions to work or proving a theory or he's had or something.  Julie Gentry (5915) 28 Jan 2007 01:43 AMAnd what good will it do to get him tested? YOU know he's gifted, and you know where the strengths and weaknesses are. Part of the reason that we haven't tested ours is that I'm not entirely sure it wouldn't in some small way change how I look at them. What if my 'normal' son tests higher than the brilliant one? What if my daughter's IQ isn't really as high as I think it is? What if it's *gasp* higher than mine? ;-) What if ALL of theirs are higher than mine? They can test when they're adults, if they want to join the Triple Nines or something. Otherwise, what's the point? Valorie Delp (49340) 28 Jan 2007 05:27 AMI gotcha Julie. . .it's a little different here because the state is so regulated. My pediatrician at one point was really pushing for it. I also have to write somewhat of an IEP for him, and having test scores that show he's gifted would validate the IEP. OTOH, they're only likely to check the IEP if there's a problem with anyone in our home somewhere down the line. It's not at all uncommon for people to test here and use the scores to get their kids into special services and/or receive scholarsrhips to specific programs (Julliard would be one example but there are other more academic programs as well). However, we have discovered that anything WE would be interested in having him in also requires demonstrable merit beyond just the test score. If that changes, we'll reconsider. We will have to do standardized testing once he gets to 5th grade anyways. Community Tags gifted testing, homeschooling, homeschooling a gifted child Discuss this article
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