What do Children Need More: Structure or Freedom?by Andrea Hermitt | More from this Blogger 03 Jan 2007 04:05 PM "You've been out all day", my well-meaning neighbor said. "I guess the kids have to get to work now." "They were done before we left", I replied. "They homeschool from 8am until noon." "Well you need to give them something to do this afternoon she replied." "They need structure. Structure is good for kids." "Actually, I said, they get structure in the morning, I like to keep our afternoons as unstructured as possible." I replied. My son would have never become as good as he is at computer programming if he did not have time to explore, and My daughter would not have become such an avid reader". "Oh", she replied, and changed the subject. I love my neighbor, I really do. She is very sweet and treats me as if I am one of her kids. That is why I let her get away with saying ridiculous things like that to me. Besides my conversations with her are good blog-fodder. So, what do children need more? Structure or Freedom? Structure: Setting limits for your son or daughter provides structure, which ultimately makes your child feel safe. Despite what they say with a sniffle and a whine, children crave structure and routine. When there's chaos in their world, it's hard to claim any sense of control. And that's stressful, which creates more chaos. My son and I have been trying an "eclectic" approach to homeschooling, but it hasn't been working particularly well for either of usSo she was enrolling him in a high school independent study program as they both came to the conclusion that we both need something with more structure. Therefore, we see here that structure is a good thing, and I do believe it is necessary... especially for babies and children with special needs. As a child grows and matures, I believe they earn the privilege of freedom. Freedom: Valerie Nelson quotes Dr. Kimmel in saying: Dr. Kimmell pointed out that Grace based families are homes where children are given the A. Freedom to be different B. Freedom to be vulnerable C. Freedom to be candid D. Freedom to make mistakes. Good judgment is the ability to make good choices or decisions. A valuable skill that many children do not learn. Parents can help teach their child good judgment by letting them make choices at a young age and then continuing this practice. Allowing your child more freedom in decision making as they mature. Talk about the consequences of certain decisions and share your opinion. Then let your child decide. Even if their choice isn't what you would want they need to learn to accept the consequences of their decisions. Freedom is also important as too much structure can hold a child back from reaching, or even discovering their own passions, so as a child gets older, I feel that there should be less structure, and more freedom. This should be done gradually and imperceptivity. It is important to maintain a delicate balance between the two. Both: Some children really prefer structure and routine but deschooling will provide you both with some creative tools to make learning, even with structure, a more personalized and tailored experience. In homeschooling or even deschooling (which Nicki Bradley describes as taking time to break away from habits of school and finding your own way) the balance between structure and freedom is terribly important. I personally have experimented in this area. When I sit back, watch, and see what my kids will do on their own, I find that one child only does math, and the other only reads. While this works for many, and eventually, as unschoolers have shown, the child's interests will eventually have them explore practically everything; I find that more structure will cause less short-term educational holes. When I have applied too much structure however, my children cease to want to learn anything at all. Everything is forced and painful. This is why I stood my ground and let my neighbor know that what she saw as a lack of structure in my kid's homeschooling program was actually quite planned, on my part. Learn more about Andrea Hermitt  Andrea Hermitt is a native New Yorker currently residing in GA. She has been married for over 16 years and has two teenage children. Relevanthomeschooling tags User Comments  Mary Ann Romans (26791) 03 Jan 2007 04:45 PMMy two cents is that kids need both. And how to balance that depends on the child. I know that my son thrives better with more structure, while my daughter is an independent child who can get her work done with more freedom. Of course, they are still so young. Do you think that will change as they get older?  Andrea Hermitt (5472) 03 Jan 2007 04:53 PMMary Ann, I don't think the ratio of structure will change... she will always need less, (for the most part) but as they get older, they will both need more freedom in order to develop as individuals. Nola Redd (7081) 03 Jan 2007 06:25 PMI agree with you. The key is finding the balance, something I'm still trying to do. Then again, my oldest is only 5 and a half, so we're keeping things light. She loves to read; maybe I'll just give her some math books to read? LOL.  LEC23 (216) 04 Jan 2007 08:11 AMHi Andrea Another brilliant discussion point. My motto whilst homeschooling, was structure is freedom and freedom is structure. Everything that many people take for granted in their daily lives, I saw, as an educational opportunity for my son to learn. Even going to the toilet, the water draining down the sink after washing up, taking the rubbish out, lead to subjects, essays and projects on environmental studies, we even took an educational trip to a Sewage Plant, an organic farm, Power Plant and a Bog (very similar to a Marsh). Christmas and other public holidays, led to other educational opportunities related to subject areas within a structured educational curriculum. I had a timetable that I would complete on a weekly basis for the following week's homeschooling and the subject areas we would cover, the topics and sub-topics. Even cross-subject teaching eg Investment Appraisal - Simple Payback - for Maths, English and Business Studies. The structure was that we had to complete a number of hours of homeschooling per week for each subject, which increased with the level that he was studying at. However, that too had the freedom of being flexible, in that as long as the numbered hours per week were covered. Socialisation was not an issue. My son played amateur Rugby League, football and went swimming, played Badminton and felt a sense of obligation to make audio tapes for blind children and older people reading stories and daily newspapers. In the UK at harvest festival time (about September), he would go round to all his friends and anyone that he knew to collect cans and packets of food, parcel them up and distributed these parcels to elderly people on limited financial means and he did this without any prompting, as he felt that he had a social obligation to do this, but he always wrote all about it, with Action Plans, timings and schedules. So as you can see, where my motto came from, that homeschooling is freedom and freedom is homeschooling. Where would you have possibly got those kind of opportunities with an education in the public school system? Discuss this article
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