Teaching Socialization in a Structured Environment

by Valorie Delp | More from this Blogger

Some of you may know that I have jury duty this week. You always meet interesting people on jury duty. Yesterday I met a women who warned me of the serious psychological damage I'm doing by not allowing my children to socialize in a structured environment.

Generally when people ask the socialization question I prattle off a list of the kids' activities. The socialization thing is ignorant people's way of asking if the kids stay home all day. Do they have any friends? It's a sign that they're longing to get a glimpse into the homeschooler's life. Most people thus far, are satisfied with my answer--my kids after all are quite busy. I spare them the whole speel on how I think the socialization argument is a bunch of bunk, how research shows homeschoolers to be better socialized than their publicly schooled counter parts, how the best place to learn socialization is at home. . .etc. They are not likely to get it anyways--so be it.

But I have never run across someone who thought that I must actually prepare my children for sitting in a class. Intrigued, I questioned why exactly it was important for them to learn to sit in a class. She answered, "Because some day they will be forced to sit in a class and then they'll be unprepared as so how to socialize with their peers."

Hmmmm. . .is it just me or does this make no sense whatsoever? As a teacher, I can remember saying numerous times to my students--"Stop talking please, we're not here to socialize." But somehow things must've changed in the last few years and now, apparently according to this woman, there's lots of socialization happening in the classroom that my kids are missing out on. I guess it must be structured socialization.

I am silly because I thought that in order for my kids to know how to sit quietly in a class and pay attention, that perhaps character qualities like self-control, and simple common courtesy might be in order.

I did manage to ask when she thought the children might enter this structured environment in which they will be completely unprepared for socializing. She didn't know--but they will.

So if I understand correctly: It is important that we homeschoolers prepare our children for socializing in an environment in which they are not allowed to socialize but rather must pay attention. I don't know when they may enter this structured environment but it is certain that common courtesy and self control will play no part in their ability to pay attention. . .it's all on those socialization skills that I'm not teaching. My children will simply be at a lost when it comes to paying attention. . .because of lack of socialization. (Imagine me, rolling my eyes here.)

Related Articles:

Let's Just Stop Answering the Socialization Question

My Unsocialized Daughter

National Association of Lunches Takes Aim at Those who Dare to Serve Lunch at Home

Learn more about Valorie Delp

Hello everybody! My name is Valorie and I am one busy lady! When I'm not writing or editing for families, I am busy trying to get my brood of 5 in line.

View Full Profile | More from this Blogger