Socialization of Homeschoolers in the Upper Grades

by Andrea Hermitt | More from this Blogger

12 May 2008 05:39 AM

I have been observing as my homeschooled kids enter and exit the middle school years, that the socialization that public school advocates say our kids so sorely need actually cannot be avoided. Outside of keeping our kids under a rock, if they spend any time at all in the real world, they will butt heads with the clicks, the bullies, and the manipulators.

This phenomenon is intensified when parents pull their kids out of public school to homeschool in the upper grades. When you take a kid that has already been socialized, and often in a negative way, and throw them in with homeschoolers, in a co-op or other setting, a bit of disruption is bound to happen. Clicks form, kids taunt, and groups that had been friends since they were 5 years old break up. Yes, these kids go through a normal middle school experience.

Fortunately, in a year or two, the new kids that were thrown im realize that this is not a normal and natural way to be, and they eventually settle into the Kum-by-yah atmosphere of the one-love homeschooler. In other words, the life-long homeschoolers eventually realize that their rhythm has been interrupted in a negative way (sometimes with the help of observing parents). They adjust, and break down the divisive societies that were beginning to form, and the new homeschoolers realize that they need to fall in line or get out of the way.

So the "naive" homeschooler gets a taste of what it is like to deal with difficult people, and the difficult people also find out that they no longer are in an atmosphere where they have to be difficult. It's a beautiful thing.

Read: Homeschooled kids will still be kids

Are Homeschooled Children Over Sheltered?

Are Homeschooled Children Over Sheltered? Part 2

Learn more about Andrea Hermitt

Andrea Hermitt is a native New Yorker currently residing in GA. She has been married for over 16 years and has two teenage children.

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Lainielou (161) 13 May 2008 04:25 PM

Homeschool groups and odd social mixes are probably more common than not. I've tried to get the homeschooled middle school kids in my community together. So far all my attempts to gather a group of middle schoolers have either failed or have been uncomfortable situations, at best. It is clear that homeschooled kids, whether they are many years at home or new to the scene, need to practice social skills in order to communicate with confidence. "Social skill" is something that must be taught and practiced like any other skill we learn. There are many psychology books and articles that report that peer relations have a very strong influence during the adolescence. It is a healthy thing to be exposed to new people and new situations during these years. Our middleschoolers are discovering who they are and as a homeschool parent, I have the pleasure of seeing that take shape first hand. Yes, it is a beautiful thing.

Andrea Hermitt (5512) 13 May 2008 04:40 PM

This is not my experience. We are fortunate to not have any problems with our middle school age kids finding friends and fitting into any social groups. Still getting kids together can be hard because middle school homeschoolers are pretty busy people. Between drama club, fencing, and church groups, and academics my kids barely have time to get together for the sole reason of socializing.