Keeping Up with the Jones

by Valorie Delp | More from this Blogger

14 Aug 2006 05:15 AM

Do you know the Jones? I bet you'd recognize them if you saw them. You know, their mom always makes a 4 course meal for dinner? Their son won 1st place in the science fair last year. Yes, and that's their daughter. . .she speaks 2 foreign languages and won the art competition last year. I hear the youngest is a musical prodigy.

You know the Jones. They are the mythological family that every one else strives to be like. They might not be called the Jones. Maybe in your neighborhood, they are the Chelniks, or the Smiths, or the Garcias. But you most likely know of a family who simply put, amazes you.

Since homeschooling has gone mainstream, there are lots of resources. Gone are the pioneering days of homeschooling where you had to forage your own way. Even unschooling, is starting to become mainstream. With the advent of lots of resources also comes co-ops, competitions for homeschoolers and a variety of other outlets to show off our little darlings and their talents. Whenever a homeschooler wins a competition, we can all point and say, "See how effective homeschooling is?"

Don't get me wrong. Co-ops and the like are great outlets for our kids. They help provide outlets for social activities and they also give our kids the chance to display things in public--be it a talent, speech, project or piece of writing. These are valuable skills and I'm not at all suggesting they be easily dismissed.

However, I think that we all, as parents are tempted by "keeping up with the Jones." Our children are a reflection on us and surely we don't want anyone saying, when it's all over, that our kids came out poorly educated. I personally cringe every time one of my nieces or nephews knows something that my kids don't. And then I stop. . .

My pastor and his wife adopted a son who was born severely retarded because of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Their son, will likely never reach past a 4th grade education. And yet, my pastor says of his son, that he is the most successful person he knows. If you knew this family (who also homeschools by the way) that is quite an impressive statement. Their children abound with talent and good manners. Why is it then, that his severely retarded son is so successful? His character. This young man wouldn't hurt a fly. He wouldn't look down on anyone because they are different. He wouldn't think badly of people. He simply lives his life, tries to help where he can and offers a positive or encouraging word whenever he's able.

When it all comes down to it, when it's all said and done what would I rather people say of my children? That they were really smart? No, I'd rather people say they were kind or helpful, full of compassion on their fellow man. I'd rather people notice in my children character qualities for which there are no competitions or public elocutions.

Of course I want my children to be well educated. But I am going to resist keeping up with the Jones. Instead, I am going to focus on instilling the character in my children that will enable them to use their good education for service to others.

Related Articles:

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Learn more about Valorie Delp

Hello everybody! My name is Valorie and I am one busy lady! When I'm not writing or editing for families, I am busy trying to get my brood of 5 in line.

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Brownie (1011) 14 Aug 2006 05:52 AM

Thank you, THANK you. I love this philosophy. My own definition of success is happiness, and you don't find or make that with money or one-upmanship or fame or beating those freakin' Joneses. Loved your article!

Brandie (1720) 14 Aug 2006 08:24 AM

Ugh. It is so hard to not be caught up in keeping up the Joneses .... my parents are that way BIG time and well, I can easily get caught up in it to. Thankfully, my dh is not like that and he does a good job of keeping me grounded. But I do it without realizing I do it and then I feel bad when he points it out. But these are the reminders that I need ... in 20 years it will not matter who can name the US presidents off in order the fastest, but what kind of character and values my children will have that will make them successful in life!

Valorie Delp (49340) 14 Aug 2006 04:41 PM

Very true ladies! I too get caught up in it--thus the article! I think it's super easy, especially when you're homeschooling, because so many people think that you can't do a good job; that you NEED teachers, schools, etc. Look soon for an article about what my kids are missing by not going to school! ;-)

Nola Redd (7081) 01 Jan 2007 02:54 PM

I know that very feeling! Thanks for the feedback and letting me know that, at least when it comes to keeping up, I manage to keep up with the Jones'! :D