Homeschooling puts the individual above the group

by Andrea Hermitt | More from this Blogger

25 Apr 2009 11:06 AM

I have often been accused of putting my children above the group as a result of homeschooling. I can't argue with that accusation still I realize the importance of looking out for the group as well.

Everyday public and private schools make decisions based on what is best for the whole. I have no problem with that. They set a curriculum that everyone should be able to follow. They make playground rules that are best for the safety of everyone. They even create lunch menus that cater to the nutrition of everyone.

Still what is good for the whole, is sometimes bad for the individual. For example, when we moved to NY temporarily after spending a couple of years in New Orleans, my then first grade son was bored out of his mind. He was being taught how to read (again) and how to spell the same words he had learned the previous year in New Orleans. So, I set up a meeting with his teacher to discuss what I thought would be a quick fix. Instead, she looked my in the eye and said, "Well, you wouldn't want me to frustrate the other children, would you?" I was shocked and appalled. What was good for the rest of the class, was definitely of no use to my son, and no one cared to cater in his direction.

Even as homeschoolers we often have to make decisions between what is best for our child, or for the group. In fact there have been times when I chose to do what was best for the group over what was best for my child. For instance, in the middle of drama club tech week as the kids were gearing up for a series of performances that could not be moved, I made the decision to keep taking my child to rehearsal's knowing there was a very good chance of her catching a very nasty bug that was going around as most of the kids had already gotten it. So I fed her vitamins and kept taking her because every other child was suffering through it and each person's role was very important to the play. There were no understudies. Eventually, she did get sick, and spent one performance taking Pepto Bismol backstage between scenes, but she survived. The show went on with great raves, and all the kids had a one of a kind bonding experience. Sure, I had every right to keep her home in bed, especially the night she came down with the stomach bug, sometimes you need to think of the whole group and since everyone else was suffering too, we overlooked our own personal needs.

Right now as we look forward to high school years, I find that once again decisions are being made that in most cases put the individual above the group. Most of the kids the my kids have homeschooled along side for the last 6+ years are going in different directions, and even we are making some changes. Sometimes we wonder if we shouldn't do what is best for the group and use the same programs most of the other kids are using, but there is no guarantee that the other families won't have to make last minute changes themselves, so the individual decision must reign.

So has a homeschooler, it is true that we often make the selfish act of putting our own kids first in many cases, but we are not so naive to cut our kids off from the community by never looking at the group as a whole and also considering their needs.

*Have a question about homeschooling? Just ask.

* Have you seen the homeschooling curriculum glossary?

Learn more about Andrea Hermitt

Andrea Hermitt is a native New Yorker currently residing in GA. She has been married for over 16 years and has two teenage children.

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