Are Homeschooling Children School Phobic?by Andrea Hermitt | More from this Blogger 05 Apr 2008 08:45 AM According to a UK website for anxiety care, school phobia can and should be treated. According to this website (which is attempting to sell counseling services) school phobia or school refusal affects 5% of students and is most common among boys. The onset of school phobia is around the age 11-12. It is likely to occur after a prolonged school absence, or during a time of uncertainly such as going from elementary to middle school. This program works to get kids back into school as quickly as possible and at avoid using homeschooling as an option, While this is the first time I have ever encountered the phrase, the are thousands of websites online that offer help for school phobia. It is more accurately described as an irrational fear of going to school. Most people seem to think that forcing a child to go to school through a combination of psychiatric services and sheer force. My problem with this is that many kids have perfectly good reasons to fear school, and so therefore refusing to go to school doesn't necessarily mean they have a phobia (irrational fear.) For example my refusal to go to school in the forth grade was based on a very real fear of getting beat up on a daily basis. My brothers fear of school in the sixth grade was based on a very real fear of a girl bully tormenting him because (it was later revealed) that she had a crush on him. Another brother's fear of school was based on the fact that he was actually stabbed. Many homeschooling opponents claim that homeschooling parents coddle children by not making them face the real world by sending them to school. The problem is that school no longer reflects the real world... unless you are a prisoner. No where besides in prison is a person told they cannot speak unless they are spoken to by a superior, that they cannot go to the bathroom without permission, and are also in constant danger of another inmate turning on them in a fit of frustration and victimizing them. Yes, there are many homeschooling kids who refuse to ever set foot in a school, but I would never call such school-refusal a symptom of a phobia. In my opinion, homeschooling is an excellent solution for "school phobic" students. It is not however the only solution, as there are private school options that help. Changing schools can also remove a child from the real dangers that they fear. *Have a question about homeschooling? Just ask. * Have you seen the homeschooling curriculum glossary? Learn more about Andrea Hermitt  Andrea Hermitt is a native New Yorker currently residing in GA. She has been married for over 16 years and has two teenage children. Relevanthomeschooling tags User Comments  Lori Safferman, LCSW-R (15) 05 Apr 2008 10:02 AMIt is understandable that children who face true safety issues at school would be afraid to go. If a child is truly "school phobic" it would be advisable to have the child treated by a behavior therapist so that she/he can be desensitized to the experience Lori Safferman, LCSW-R DoingItDifferently (18) 07 Apr 2008 05:37 AMThe diagnosis of "school phobia" shows a poor understanding of modern psychology (at best) since a fear of going to school for the reasons they listed seem best classified under Separation Anxiety Disorder by the DSM IV. It also shows that they are using very old data to increase their business because the studies done on "school phobia" were done during the 1950s-1980s with the most recent being done in 1987 (the DSM IV was originally published in 1994). In addition to that you will find that a lot of counselors these days will initially probe for signs of abuse at school by staff, teachers, or students due to an increased recognition of abuses at schools. However people who offer their services in the sites you've seen are not the most professional (to put it nicely) of counselors (I would like to see their actual certification for that btw) and are often preying on the ignorance, denial, and fear of parents that is most likely being encouraged by the school itself (after all the school their child attends doesn't have any problems like that /sarcasm). Sadly too many parents are more comfortable minimizing or just flat out denying abuse has occurred. It's not intentional, I don't believe, but born out of fear of what their child having gone through that abuse says about them as a parent and fear of being unable to help their child recover from such things. There is also the possibility that if a child is feeling "school phobic" it is because they have an undiagnosed learning disability that is causing them excessive stress. If that's the case then getting help for treating that disability and finding the best way to help them learn is vital to their future success, in my opinion. In cases like this there are an increasing number of parents that are seeing homeschooling as the best option. Of course if a child does have Separation Anxiety Disorder then most likely you would see it in other areas of life as well since it tends to be more pervasive. If they do then you would want to get them treated for that disorder. The parents and the counselor may find that gradually introducing the child to a safe (that's the important word) school environment, or other places where they are away from home and the figures that they are afraid to be separated from for an extended period of time, is the best way to help them finally overcome that fear. Ultimately it falls to the parents to decide the best course of action for their child and their family. This can be extremely difficult if they find themselves facing a lot of dissent against them, particularly by those they see as professionals. Parents are not always right of course but they are the ones who are primarily responsible for getting the help their child needs.  Andrea Hermitt (5512) 07 Apr 2008 09:47 AMDoingitdifferently, THANK YOU for your eloquent and accurate response! kpup (10) 12 Apr 2008 03:46 PMI think we are seeing money at work here. Where else in the world is bullying, stabbing, beating, etc. type of behavior considered normal -- other than in schools? I worked in the "real world" for 13 years before staying home with my children. Not one time during those years was I bullied or did I suffer any serious social issues. Yeah, there was the one jerk who made every word into a sexual joke, but he didn't last long. These people who opine that children should be subjected to these behaviors and learn to cope with them -- um, exactly how is that preparing them for adult life? Anyone? Maybe some kids have "school phobia" just from cussedness, but I'm betting that most of those 5% are just showing good sense, in contrast to the adults in their lives. God bless 'em. SarahMomOfOneBabyBoy (45) 15 Apr 2008 11:26 AMI absolutely agree that most of "school-phobic" children are not actually phobic, in that there is a real reason(s) for their fear. And I agree that school is not a normal environment! Maybe not quite like prison, but not a place into which I plan to blindly throw my children. School is not the real world, as has been mentioned - for example, bullying happens in the adult world, but not at the scale of school bullying. School is its own frightening mini-world, not to all but to many. It's a wonder it's considered the norm for children to be subjected to that daily throughout childhood! I myself did not experience any major damage to my psyche in school, but I have heard from many who did, and I know schools are much scarier places now than when I was there. The stresses of wearing the right clothes, cliques, teasing, bullying, too-much-homework stress, shootings, fights, and the pressure to drink, smoke, use drugs, and have sex, not to mention the strict indoctrination of state-sponsored morals and values... every time I start questioning my decision to homeschool (I have a one-year-old and am pregnant), I come back to this and remember that it is MY responsibility to raise my child, and I do not intend to allow the public school system to do it for me, its own way. Even if I have to move away from California to do it, I WILL homeschool! Lori Safferman, LCSW-R (15) 05 Aug 2008 05:58 AMIt is very important to accurately diagnose a child to differentiate true school phobia and/or separation anxiety disorder from a dangerous school environment. It is easy to simply assume that the child has a good reason for refusing to attend school. If the school is indeed violent, then by all means it is the responsibility of the school system to ensure safety for all students. However to disregard the possibility that the child may be suffering from a true school phobia or separation disorder, and to withhold treatment that can drastically improve a child's anxiety disorder is doing the child a disservice. Untreated school phobia is frequently a precursor of adult anxiety disorders and can lead to continued misery for the child/adult. School does not only educate children academically but it provides them an environment for developing social skills that are imperative for full functioning. This is not meant to denigrate homeschooling in any way. I urge all parents to have a full work-up if the reason for home schooling is the result of school refusal, or anxiety UNRELATED to a violent school environment. I cannot stress enough that there effective treatment available. Lori Safferman, LCSW-R Discuss this article
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